Having a hit counter occasionally affords me an interesting glimpse of my audience’s psychology. Not only can I tell when and how often certain loyal members of the audience stop by, but I am also informed about the key words of the search that has ushered strangers to my door.

For instance, just yesterday a thoughtful citizen was wondering about whether or not the Bush tax cuts are conducive to economic growth, so he opened the MSN search engine and typed, “Are the Bush tax cuts conducive to economic growth?” Knowing that Strange Proportion would be an excellent place to find the answer to that and many other questions, MSN took that poor lost soul’s hand and brought him here. And since I haven’t specifically given an answer to that question in this forum, I should be clear and blunt about it now: No, thoughtful citizen, Bush’s tax cuts are not conducive to economic growth. That’s just an ex post facto justification during an election year. The rich are out there spending money no matter how the economy is doing. And if the extra $500 in your pocket from the child tax credit is enough to buy your vote for global imperial domination, then we need to talk.

Then there’s the woman who has a rectangular sunroom and can’t quite figure out how to decorate it. (Is it sexist to assume it’s a woman? I thought long and hard about it before I chose the word, and in the end I decided to use the feminine because the likelihood is so low that I or any of the other male creatures I know would even think to look for decorating advice on the internet.) But I can understand her frustration. Unfortunately, my sunroom is perfectly square, and the decorating guidelines are completely different. In fact, if I had a rectangular sunroom, I probably wouldn’t even know where to start. It’s really hard to get a feel for how the feng shui is going to bounce around in a rectangular room. It tends to collect in the corners, I think, but I’m not an expert. In fact, I would probably have to resort to opening up a Google page and typing “decorating a rectangular sunroom" in the search field. Unfortunately, Google would bring me right back to Strange Proportion and I would end up learning nothing.

Last week, a lonely tourist, in Prague for a weekend or maybe just a night, perhaps a little randy and looking for company, went to an internet cafe and typed “Prague whore” into a search engine. But, having discriminating tastes, he didn’t click on the first, or even the five hundredth, escort service site he found. He scrolled way way way down to the bottom, below all the Prague Post classified ads for prostitutes, and found Strange Proportion. He didn’t stay for long.

I’m not sure what yesterday’s search for “coitus clips,” was about, nor do I particularly want to know. But I do feel honored and privileged to have the top Google rank for “dysorthographia,” my favorite disability.

Update (10/28): My new favorite search engine query referral of all time came last night. “What are somethings [sic] that i can do when watching supermodels?”

i think if you have to ask about those somethings, you'll never really understand.