Google makes everything easier.

As soon as it’s available, I’m going to have the Google search bar implanted in my arm. There are few things more frustrating than being in a coffee shop or bar, or in “nature” or some similar technologically unequipped place, and getting into a dispute that can only be properly resolved by googling.

But that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about this evening. See that strip of Google ads down and to the right? Maybe you thought I’d sold out when you saw them unfurled for the first time. I probably have. I do, after all work for the Man now. My friends tell me so, the ones who continue to define themselves by how disenfranchised they can keep themselves. Now, I’m all for remaining disenfranchised, at least on the inside. “Poets should arrange to remain thin,” I once read, but I can’t remember where. I think it was in a poem. But it’s such hard work, you know. Exhausting.

My brothers have taken to taunting me with accusations of yuppie, though I can’t think of a less accurate description for someone who at 31 lives in a basement and shops almost solely at Ross. But that’s not the point. I have now made over forty-two cents from those carefully placed and highly relevent text ads. As soon as I break $100, they say they’ll send me a check. Now, I have some friends who stuffed envelopes at home for a while, and their checks never arrived. One of them instead set out to demonstrate that you can earn more than minimum wage by spanging at the local strip mall, and he did. He also set out deliberately to become homeless and ride trains just like the real hobos of yore, and he did. Nonetheless, as far as the check goes, you’ll have to excuse me for remaining sceptical.

I spell skeptical with a 'k'...what does that mean? Is it required that one possess large student loans to spell it with a 'c'...? Do you know what it's like to find out YEARS later that friends were annoyed you spelled behaviour the way you did? I also use too many dot dot dots, another sign that I lack education. In closing, may I suggest that as soon as you break $100 you take all of us putzes that read your blog out for a drink or two?

I was playing around with the Google online translator, and ran the text of this entry from English to Portugese to Spanish to French to German and back to English, in a automated multilingual game of Telephone. Here's what I got back at the end:

Google makes this simpler entirety.

Thus, which is present, I that the personnel of research established by Google to have in my arm. It has few things, the RAM of parcelling out, that it in a camp or in a personnel of the coffee is or "nature" or a certain similar technological place equip without itself and are with the beginning in conflict, that the can of Googling correctly only decided.

But it is not, which I speak here with him of this evening. Does this handle of Google ads for and make the bottom which the line see? Probably you thought that I does it which was sold for me is, when you saw it, who ausgebritten for the first time that became. I probably have. I, then this whole work for the man now. My friends too thus say who continue with that, those to me, if, the surplus for defining as disenfranchised to remain to be able in measurement. Now I am very for me remains disenfranchised, too little on the interior. the "poets must regulate, in order to remain," read I finally a moment, but I then not to recall me where. I think that it was in a poetry. But it is, thus hard work, you, who it. For the exhaust.

My brothers had formed the examination, which is me with charges of yuppy taunting, however can I not roughly more a thought a description, which is less exact for the latter in 31 lives in a well and almost in one only memory in Ross. But it is not the point. Now I have in raised degrees, in an educated way Centforty two these warning, to be placed and the text relevent ads to exceed. Thus this I indicates $100 to the rupture which they radiate an examination with me. Has link the friends to me now, who exceed fulled you in the remainder for one had, when and their examinations had never arrived. One of them was preferivelmentesitz for must prove that you can gain the wages, of that the minimum, which glare—went in the local avenue tree-drawn of the handle, is. Moreover it according to theirs went intentionally the changing nomad and the line to attach trains like the applicable hobos yore. However so much how much the examination disappears, have you with excuses I for the remaining skeptic.

Notice how mangled everything became, but ‘Googling’ at the end of the first big paragraph remained intact and even got capitalized. Now that’s attention to detail.