While I am happy to have had very steadily increasing site traffic over the past couple of weeks, it disappoints me somewhat that more than two-thirds of this week’s visitors have come in search of cubicle decorating guidelines. I did write about cubicle decorating a few months ago, it’s true, and I was proud of the joke for a day or two. But here I am, tirelessly transcribing my most heartfelt hopes and dreams so that you, dear friend, will have but one more tiny nugget of wisdom, once a month or so, to help you through your life of quiet desperation. After all, when miracles find their way home to heaven, all spent and frustrated, their maker accepts them back with open hands, washes them, and whispers, “We’re that much closer now.” When I’m silent for weeks on end, it’s only because I’m out there, in sort of a, you know, virtual sense, trolling through the muck and mud of the week’s auto-generated and continuously updated headlines to bring you the juiciest recent tidbits, reading the news for all you sinners.

Why just tonight I was hard at work writing about the American government paying Iraqi newspapers to print pro-American propaganda as news, but no one cares about that. Nor do they seem to care about secret CIA prisons, Michael Brown (“Anything specific I need to do or tweak?") starting up his own disaster-readiness consulting company, or US-funded mercenaries filming trophy videos of themselves allegedly shooting at random civilian vehicles. They want “christmas door decorating contest ideas” and “decorating a cubicle for christmas” and “feng shui your office cubicle” and “weird christmas decoration” and “decorate office like gingerbread house.” If I ran a cubicle-decorating website, I’d be floating on air. I’m famous, after all! Everyone who’s ever thought to consult the internets for inspiration when trying to win that coveted “best cubicle” prize at the office comes to my website! What higher honor is there?

Just as some posit that our galaxy is just a particle in a much larger world, I sometimes think that the cheek into which your tongue is firmly placed is itself another tongue, firmly placed into a much larger cheek. You think this post will reduce that 33% of visitors interested in decorating? Just look at your Google ads, man. Oh, I get it, you're converting this to a splog, right?

The terrorists are doing it! Why can't we? From the BBC news (the last paragraph is the best):

"Questioned about the issue, a US spokesman in Baghdad said Iraq's most-wanted militant, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was also using the media.

"'He [Zarqawi] is conducting these kidnappings, these beheadings, these explosions, so that he gets international coverage to look like he has more capability than he truly has,' Maj Gen Rick Lynch said in Baghdad.

"'He is lying to the Iraqi people. We don't lie - we don't need to lie,' he added.

"'We do empower our operational commanders with the ability to inform the Iraqi public but everything we do is based on fact, not based on fiction.'"

I don't even think that it's worth dignifying your comments and your lack of "Good Will" toward men with a reply. Your lack of the very thing that you "apparently" desire and demand out of others is astounding. I feel greif for your lost soul.

Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about. Is this about cubicles?

so...you're saying that you don't have any decorating tips??? damn.

guess i'll check the next site.